Are you CURSED? HAUNTED? Are you an unrealistically attractive young lady who only seeks the help of fictional detectives? Then pray allow us to recommend the services of the Empire’s greatest OCCULTIST and INVESTIGATOR of STRANGE GOINGS-ON and ETHEREAL SHENANIGANS: the estimable LORD ZIMBABWE. Please make suitable representations to his Major Domo, Mr Theremin, at Bluebell End, England.